The Personal Iceburg Metaphor of the Satir Model

To Be...
loved     respected     valued     seen     important    approved of     safe     comforted     cherished     touched    heard     understood     autonomous      reassured
To Have...

someone to be there for me     meaning and purpose     acceptance     support      unconditional love     connection

Heart Feelings

abandoned     afraid     alone     angry     betrayed    disappointed    guarded      invalidated      put down insignificant     disconnected     guilty      isolated      sad      smothered     discounted      hopeless     judged     scared     uncared for     dismissed     down     depressed     empty     hurt     ignored     inadequate      intimidated     I don't matter     I have failed     misunderstood    no one is there for me  

pushed away     shut out     stood up     small     unimportant     unlovable     unworthy 

Reactive Feelings

angry      cheated      controlled      hateful      put out      perturbed      anxious     attacked     cranky     deceived     frustrated   isolated      desperate      apprehensive       blamed      criticized      defiant     impatient      oppressed       out of control      blank     bitter      cross      enraged      insulted      disguised resentful      defensive     panicky      self-conscious      uncomfortable      lost     on edge     frightened   hesitant     pressured       shocked     jealous     numb      overwhelmed      frozen     ill at ease

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