SATIR'S PERSONAL ICEBERG MODEL
OBSERVED BEHAVIOR
What is the context? What is actually happening?
angry cheated controlled hateful put out pressured shocked uncomfortable perturbed anxious attacked cranky blank jealous ill at ease persecuted frustrated numb isolated desperate disgusted overwhelmed defensive panicky frozen
on edge frightened apprehensive self-conscious deceived bitter cross enraged lost insulted hesitant out of control ​blamed criticized defiant impatient oppressed resentful numb
Reactive Feelings
abandoned afraid invalidated empty let down
unloveable unworthy stood up small I don't matter
insignificant disconnected disappointed alone misunderstood smothered discounted dismissed hopeless I have failed
uncared for pushed away inadequate isolated no one is there for me
sad ignored intimidated depressed unimportant
shut out hurt scared judged guilty
angry betrayed guarded put down
Heart Feelings
PERCEPTION
How do I perceive behavior?
What are my thoughts, beliefs, & assumptions?
What is my mind-set?
Subjective reality
What do I expect of myself?
What do I expect of others?
What do I expect from from others?
EXPECTATIONS
TO BE...
loved respected seen valued important approved of autonomous touched cherished safe heard understood reassured comforted
​
TO HAVE...
someone to be there for me meaning and purpose acceptance support unconditional love connection
To Be...
loved respected seen valued important approved of autonomous touched cherished safe heard understood reassured comforted
​
To Have...
someone to be there for me meaning and purpose acceptance support unconditional love connection