The Personal Iceburg Metaphor of the Satir Model
Yearnings
To Be...
loved respected valued seen important approved of safe comforted cherished touched heard understood autonomous reassured
To Have...
someone to be there for me meaning and purpose acceptance support unconditional love connection
Heart Feelings
abandoned afraid alone angry betrayed disappointed guarded invalidated put down insignificant disconnected guilty isolated sad smothered discounted hopeless judged scared uncared for dismissed down depressed empty hurt ignored inadequate intimidated I don't matter I have failed misunderstood no one is there for me
pushed away shut out stood up small unimportant unlovable unworthy
Reactive Feelings
angry cheated controlled hateful put out perturbed anxious attacked cranky deceived frustrated isolated desperate apprehensive blamed criticized defiant impatient oppressed out of control blank bitter cross enraged insulted disguised resentful defensive panicky self-conscious uncomfortable lost on edge frightened hesitant pressured shocked jealous numb overwhelmed frozen ill at ease